Desperation: Or, Girls With No Shame

Desperation is a sad, sad thing. I have recently been exposed to the highest form of desperation and must say that I find it quite distasteful. This is the kind of desperation which shows an obvious lack of self respect, it is a desperation of the lowest kind. Let me be perfectly clear, I believe that all desperation demonstrates a lack of self confidence and respect, but some cases are more severe than others. Desperation is, in my mind, generally associated with females, as it should be. Girls are notorious for the lengths they will go to get what they want, whether it be money for the mall, a boy or a better mark from the school teacher. Girls will completely lose their dignity and integrity in order to achieve what they want. Don't get me wrong, having that ability is commendable - it is sly and cunning, but pathetic as well. Granted, there is a difference between being willing to go far to achieve a goal and being desperate, but it is such a fine line that it can almost be ignored. 

Countless philosophers have noted this particular trait of desperation in women. For example, Petar  Petrović Njegos, a former Montenegrin king, clearly expressed his interest in the subject through a relatively famous quote ,,Ćud je ženska smiješna rabota! Ne zna žena ko je kakve vjere; stotinu će promijenit vjerah da učini što joj srce žudi."In translation, "A woman's behaviour is amazing! A woman doesn't know of faith; she will convert through countless religions in order to achieve that which her heat desires."
Despite being a woman, the feminist inside me can never let me give up my honor and pride and succumb just so that I can get what I want. Regardless, I still cannot sympathize with girls who do become clearly desperate to achieve a goal. My feelings however, aren't very important. My self-appointed job is to critique the way things are right now. It's time to begin.

In high school, there are countless scenarios of desperation. I see children in my school come to teachers prior to report card day and beg them for a few extra digits of percent. I can't do that. My pride stands in the way and occasionally leads to detrimental consequences. Honestly, I don't see a logical need for shame and pride. Rationally speaking, that teacher who you beg for a few extra percents, isn't really going to ever see you again, so why worry? I can't come up with a valid response. But I still cannot do it. Okay, in relation to other things, begging a teacher for a slightly higher grade isn't a big deal. There are way more embarrassing things to do in high school. To some people, the teacher example is nothing. Relatively, the example about the teacher and the marks isn't even close to the tip of the iceberg.
Certain things in high school shape the person you become in the future. No doubt, high school is a time to find yourself and realize your flaws, so that you can correct them for the future. Recently, I saw a behaviour that needed to quickly be corrected in the majority of the female population at my high school. The root of the problem? The male population.

SOURCE: virtueus.blogspot.ca

No, no, I am not advocating the castration of all men at birth, nor am I advocating for gender divided schools - I am simply stating a truth (in my eyes).
This behaviour is one that could have devastating consequences for girls in their futures. It could lead to abuse, unhappiness, social stupidity, repulsion and worst of all, no self respect. This behaviour is a melange of different behaviours: the inability to stop, combined with the inability to recognize and accept "hints", and possibly, an inborn lack of self-respect. Where is it seen the most? In dealings with males.
So often in media, we are exposed to the starry eyed girl chasing after the laid back jock. In most shows/movies, the end result of the starry eyed girl's flirting is a boyfriend. The sad reality is that, unfortunately, girls don't always get the cool jock. Now, this in and of itself, is a learning experience and doesn't have much of a downside. The girl isn't going to be scarred forever considering hormones and lack of real emotional bondage. What can have a potential downside is the manner in which the girls choose to handle themselves afterwards.

Let's imagine a scenario here ( I am literally making up the most common and basic hypothetical situation I can):
Sally likes John. Everyday, Sally gives John hints that she likes him. She talks to him a lot and everyone can tell that she behaves a little differently around him. John does not like Sally, so instead of breaking her heart by telling her upfront, he returns her favour of dishing out hints. He ignores her advances and just generally demonstrates his lack of interest in Sally as a romantic partner.
One fine day, Sally finds out from a little birdie that John doesn't like her and that, this whole entire time, John has been able to tell that she likes him, but hasn't wanted to do anything about it. Naturally, Sally is devastated. This is where the options to finish the story of John and Sally come in:
Option A) Sally has a hurt ego and gets over John.
Option B) Sally and John are extremely angry at each other and never speak again.
Option C) Sally and John are fine, but their friendship is damaged and they seem awkward around each other.
Option D) Sally continues pursuing John, and goes on as if none of this ever happened.
So, which option is best? (I ranked them in order of what I think is best. A = the best option, D = the worst option.) Am I a psychopath for believing that pretending nothing happened and going about business as usual is wrong and abnormal - even possibly inhuman? I've been told so before, but I think not. Rationally, Sally having a hitt ego is normal. After all, she got rejected. Again rationally, moving on is normal. I mean, people who have been married for decades get divorces and move on! Obviously, moving on from a high school crush should be no big deal. Not only is "A" the most normal, and thus viable option, it also the way it should be.
Option "B" is drastic and harsh, but still very normal. Sally may have a massive ego and find it hard to believe that any person on this planet wouldn't want to be dating her. Parallelly, John may feel hurt with Sally's behavior and tune out all together. This option seems normal to me, especially if one of the involved parties is an ego maniac.
Option "C" is quite bad. Nothing is really as uncomfortable as awkwardness, especially when the subjects used to be friends. They'll never be able to speak to each other the same way again, and that will lead to the end of their relationship.
Option "D" is unthinkably bad. It forces a feeling of awkwardness out and pushes a feeling of forgetfulness through. To pretend that nothing happened is absurd. Moreover, Sally continues pursuing John despite rejection. This is one of the ultimate signs of desperation and should not happen. Not only does it demonstrate an extremely distasteful lack of confidence and self-respect on Sally's part, but an obvious lack of shame as well.
I understand the whole new wave idea of "getting rejected is totally chill, brah! I mean, being a chick  and getting rejected is even more rad, yo. Who cares if you've been rejected, there's nothing to be ashamed of, duuude (notice the accentuation of the "u" sound in "dude")". Yes, I understand it and can even see how is can rationally protrude itself into a person's mind, but I can't see how a human being can truly -in their core- accept rejection with not reaction. I would be ashamed, no doubt, especially if the "John" in question knew that I liked him. It may be the culture in which I was raised, but dignity and shame are big deals. Getting rejected is a huge blow to both of those aspects. I honestly don't know how I'd be able to pass the guy in question in the hallway without blushing if I knew that he knew. But then again, that's just me.
In reality, I don't think that the concept of "If at first you don't succeed try and try again!" applies to relationships. Have a degree of respect for the boy in question. He doesn't like you. Pestering him non-stop to attempt to alienate his affection to you is not right. Chances are that that boy isn't going to start to like you all of a sudden if you are super pushy. Relax.
Let me try and explain this a little further by explaining my views on forgetting. To uptake in option "D" is to pretend that something never happened - it is to stick your head in the sand. It is not viable, nor is it okay by any means. You cannot forget any matter, you can forgive it, but you mustn't forget it. This is true for all conflicts. No one can, nor should they brainwash themselves to forget about any event. History is a perfect example of this. We can forgive German people for the crimes against humanity, which they committed during World War II, but we cannot simply erase those events from the history books. Moreover, we cannot fear discussing those events, for without discussion, repetition is more likely and progress becomes nonexistent. I don't want either of those things, and option "D" is advocating for that.

No, no. I am not saying that that girl should live the rest of her poor life in fear of asking a male anything. She shouldn't be trembling, but their should be a certain rest period. To pretend that something never happened is psychotic. Imagine a woman losing her partner in a car accident, and then going to work the next day in the same state as always. Wouldn't you be concerned? I'm getting off topic here, as per usual.

So, I'd like this post to be a warning to teenage girls everywhere. To know how to behave is the strongest weapon a female could have. Grace, elegance and even a certain degree of stuck-upness are appealing. If a boy rejects you, either to your face or through the grapevine, then move on. There are many fish in the sea. Don't pester the poor soul of John by continuing flirting at (not with) him after the fact. Give him space! It's distasteful and odd to look at a girl continue pulling moves on a guy after the whole school knows the feelings of both parties involved. 

Do some things to take your mind off the boy: go to a party, hang out with your friends, vent to someone - do anything but continue hitting on him. If you find out that he's doing something, have enough self-respect and dignity to not invite yourself to that same thing. Hell, even if he invites you to a party don't go. He rejected you, woman! He is not the only living soul on the planet. Give yourself the opportunity to hold your head up high, you're good enough for it! Have some self esteem. Don't seem desperate and lonely. Don't urge people to give you attention, if they don't want to. 

There is one more thing: take some hints to not degrade yourself to the lowest possible point in school society. As in, if you mistakenly continue hitting on the boy and, say, ask him to help you with your homework, realize what his response means. If he is too nice to blatantly say no, and instead makes something up like "I have music practice on the other side of town", let him go. Don't say "Oh, don't' worry, I'll take the bus with you to music and you can explain the homework to me on the way there!" Not only are you creeping him out, and not letting his wretched soul breathe, you are making yourself seem like you have no life. Do you really have no life? Do you really like that boy so much that you are willing to make an utter fool of yourself in front of him? Are you really that desperate?