Posers

Do you know a poser? You probably do, there are some in almost every setting in society. They are those annoying people that pretend to be something that they aren't. The posers sub-breed that I will be discussing today is the sub-breed that likes to pretend they have just walked out of a Tupac video. Generally, they try and imitate the mannerisms and physical appearance of people they consider to be from "the hood". I don't want to sound racist, but in most cases these are people who aren't black, trying to imitate the stereotypical black gang member.

Alright, so now that we've gotten the explanation out of the way, let's begin on why I find them annoying. I dislike posers, because I dislike people who try really hard to look "cool". I also dislike them because they are a type of valley girl. Lastly, I dislike them because they are not comfortable in their own skin.

Today, after being put into a group for a project with a poser, I felt inclined to write this post as a rant. Mostly about that one person, but as a rant in general, with examples from my vast experience with posers.

Alright, how is a poser similar to a valley girl? Well, it's very simple really. Valley girls are those annoying girls, who try and imitate pop culture figures, and in the process, grossly exaggerate those figures mannerisms. Posers are the same, only they aren't necessarily imitating pop culture figures. So hopefully you are now able to see the striking similarity between a poser and a valley girl.

Now let's talk about this guy, who decided to join my group today. First of all, I want to note that he walked from the other side of the room, where he and his friends sit, to come to my group. He could have stayed on the other side, but no, he came to my group. Surprising, considering that he is creeped out by me. I'm assuming that he did it because he knew that I would do all the work and that he could play on his phone. So this poser, and my friend started talking and snap chatting and whatever else partially retarded children do. (Not that my friend is partially retarded, she just hates doing work and talking about literature, so she leaves that to me.) Anyway, this poser guy was sitting there, and then begun asking me some questions. I didn't really listen to him, but it was a question that he has been asking me for a long time, and I never want to answer it, but he is persistent. I managed to hush him and he gave up for the rest of the day. Now he turned on his phone again. He began scrolling through his Facebook Newsfeed. It was so hilarious that I actually was unable to hold back the giggles. Maybe I'm sexist and this should be fine for guys as well as girls, but I just don't think so. His Facebook Newsfeed was overflowing with pictures and posts about Air Jordan shoes. I'm sorry, I just don't get it! I rarely see girls with that many posts on their feed about shoes, but guys? Come on, give me a break! To me, this was hilarious, and as I said, I was unable to hold back laughs. He turned around, and I guess that he thought that I was laughing at something the teacher said, because he just looked back to the front of the class. He even complimented my lovely polka-dot socks, before turning all the way back around.

Now, let me get to what makes this dude a poser. It's the outfit. His outfits are consistently changing, but never by much. He always has some sort of "bling-age", whether it be a gold chain around his neck, or a big ring on his finger. He usually wears a baggy white shirt or some kind of Adidas track jacket, and on the bottom - baggy jeans. I appreciate the fact that his jeans are actually around his waist as opposed to his knees. This is a welcome change, since most male posers these days wear their jeans around their knees. I think that the whole "pants around the knees" thing has actually become the boy's version of cleavage. Know what I mean? Girls pull their shirts down in order to show off their generally tiny breasts, boys pull their pants down in order to show off their generally stupid looking boxers. I guess it's only fair.

Now I'm off topic again. Okay, so what else makes him a poser, apart from the hilarious outfit - his behavior. Everything from the way he walks, to the way he talks is a calculated move, done with the intent to seem as "black" as possible. He walks with so much "swagger", oh wait! Never mind, it's only swagger if you're actually cool, not if you're trying to have swagger. He talks using a swear word in every sentence, and of course, he always greets people with the word "yo". Ain't life grand? Of course, he is an active user of social media, and a big fan of rap music - especially Kanye West.

So this guy, with a relatively heavy Asian accent, thinks that he was born and raised in the "hood". He thinks that Tupac is his best friend (regardless of the fact that he's dead). And saddest of all, he thinks that he is actually more cool pretending to be, then actually being himself.

He thinks that being someone else is as simple as copying them. Their walk, their talk, their look - but it isn't. You can tell who actually tell if a certain look suits someone or not. Not everybody looks awesome when dressed like Biggie. Why? Because I can picture Biggie and Tupac holding up guns and snorting cocaine, but can I imagine my class poser doing that - no! In fact, I'd venture to say that he'd run at the sight of a gun. I don't think that he could do anything that would even remotely qualify as living "thug life". I'm pretty sure that the most "bad-ass" thing that he's ever done was not hand in an assignment, though he claims that he once beat up some kid.

So this poor, little, rich kid is dissatisfied with himslef and he tries to be some one he's not. Really, I think that he's a big softie and that he's actually very nice and funny, but his poser-ness is so repulsive that I can't actually look past it.

So please poser, if you read this, please don't be afraid. You're a good person deep down, you have no need to hide in Biggie's shadow. Show people who you really are, and you'll make real friends, not just those that like you for your gangsta-ness, yo. Thanks for reading!