Make It Stop

Sounds are wonderful things. They can inspire and ignite emotion through music, speeches, sighs, even breaths. These little vibrations, which enthral your eardrum into pounding signals like a jungle drum to your brain, can move you, but of course, there are two opposite directions in which you can move. Music, for example, can make one person elated and cause depression in the other. Drake's song "Started From the Bottom" is a perfect example of the varying effect any set of sounds can have on different people. I remember a time at school when, in an effort to seem cool, one stupid child blasted the song on his backpack speakers. He walked the halls of the school from one side to another, with nothing -and I mean nothing, the boy didn't even have a shirt on- but the aggressive thumping sounds of "Started From the Bottom". 

Naturally, it was hard for me to focus on the music. Such a sight was not a regular occurrence, even in my school of teen pregnancies and drugs. (Speaking of drugs, I presume the child was on drugs.) Anyway, as the boy walked past people, I observed their reactions. Truly, very few of my peers were as genuinely awed as I was at the sight of a boy in nothing but underwear and socks pacing through the halls with a backpack. I feel that it is safe for me to separate the student body into two groups: Drake fans" and "Not Drake Fans". The titles speak for themselves, but I will elaborate a little more. The "Drake Fans", well they grooved and moved their crotches and butts in a sexually provoking manner. They would come close together and rub genitalia together, mind you, they had clothes. The "Not Drake Fans" would simply stay back and throw boos at the shirtless jukebox. They didn't so much as give a second thought as to why a boy was marching through the school half-naked, rather they criticized his choice in music and encouraged him to try certain other genres. 

Obviously, sound can evoke a certain feeling in an individual. Generally, noise evokes bad feelings in people and music evokes pretty feelings in people. See, those students that didn't like the music from my example above, didn't like it because they didn't consider it to be music; rather noise. 

I was once the subject of a survey for my friend's project, where she would play sounds and ask the test group to rate how terrible the sounds were. There was beeping, barking and banging. I remember sitting there and wishing that the minutes would pass by faster so that I could get back to class. 

This is all pointless writing however, I want to get to the point. 

Last night, I went to sleep late because I was watching some interesting TV. The night prior I had went to bed at 2:30 in the morning and woken up at 8. When I woke up at 8, I was obviously tired, but the day started with a nice breakfast so I was happy. I promised myself that I would go to sleep early, but the TV didn't let me. This morning, I had no need to wake up early. I knew this when I went to sleep last night. I thought that I would sleep the day away and wake up in a state of mental clarity. I was wrong and my hopes were wrong. 

I was woken up this morning by a shrill-shrieking, no-good, obnoxious-barking dog and the construction crew, which sounds more like a destruction crew. Every morning, since the start of my break, this construction crew has impeded my sleep with their crashing and beeping and dropping. Every morning. But I'll get to the constructers later. Let's discuss the bitch.

Some poor, lonely soul, who is incapable of being dated has attempted to fill her life. How? By purchasing a mutt. This pathetic woman has come to accept the sad reality that, due to her appearance, she will never find a mate. Moreover, she has come to accept the reality which is her repudiating mirror reflection. But, due to her personalty, her ego, she cannot accept the fact that no one wants her. She thinks, no, she knows, that she is too incredible to not be wanted. She knows that she is the most awe-inspiring creature to have ever set foot on the planet. She believes that she is God's miracle. Too bad that no one apart from her mother feels the same way. 

The level of arrogance and obnoxiousness possessed by this woman is off the charts. She feels that she has the right to interrupt the slumber of the entire neighbourhood. Perhaps, she feels the centre of attention when her replacement-for-a-boyfriend, flea-bag begins to bark as if the apocalypse is arriving. Yes, that is what was occurring. That dog began barking and howling like there was no tomorrow.
I'll be frank, I have never owned a canine, in fact, I haven't even managed so much as a goldfish, so my critique of this woman could be wrong. The part about her ego, I believe it stands however. I believe that single persons, especially women, own pets in place of something any normal, reproductively functioning human female would want - children. Call me old-fashioned, but you know it's true.
My major problem, and the reason I have decided to massacre Jane Doe's behavior is because of her dog, right? Wrong. I am disgusted by Jane Doe for the simple fact that she, at that moment, felt no desire whatsoever to force her child into silence. I would actually venture to say that had that drooling, disgusting dog been a human child, the woman would have disciplined in a far harsher manner. It's quite true actually.
Take a look at the news for example. When a human is murdered in, let's say, a gang shootout, it is mentioned along with some statistic about murder rates. When however, an animal, like a cat for example is killed by a person, an international tribunal level  investigation is lauched. The person who is eventually found guilty of the kitty murder is sentenced harshly and spat upon by society. I don't know too much about cats, but I know that, if not neutered, they can produce tremendous amounts of offspring. What is a person to do with those offspring? Killing them is actually one of the more humane options. That way, they won't end up suffering through life as strays etc.. A human being should not be antagonized for the quick murder of an animal out of necessity. People should be criticized when they release their anger on animals and abuse them in horrific ways.
My point however, isn't the inequalty between humans and pets, it is Jane Doe's bitchiness. She let that dog bark into eternity. I was awoken, I was disturbed, and I was angered. I don't care much for alarm clocks, especially ones that bark and initiate themselves during my summer break. The world doesn't revolve around Jane Doe or her mutt. She needs to know that, as does her bitch. I think that her actions this morning qualified as "disturbing the peace". That is my diplomatic statement. Less diplomatically, I'd like to inform Jane Doe that if she were in any number of foreign countries, her arrogance and her makeshift community alarm clock would be quickly executed so that the human folk could rest.  Am I mean? I don't think so. I simply follow Mother Nature's system. I am a human, therefore I am superior to an animal. Now, I am going to tell you something shocking: I am not a vegetarian!
Now to get into the second part of my fabulous daily alarm - the construction crew. These are the men who so charmingly evoke crashes and bangs, which echo throughout the famously beautiful and peaceful Vancouver neighborhood of Coal Harbour. They are the producers of the sounds of metal clashing with metal, cranes smashing against buildings and notoriously, the incisive dinging of safety signals.
These construction workers have an ugly habit. Instead of working on a typical schedule of "nine-to-five", they prefer to work on a schedule more similar to that of a rooster. Work begins at the crack of dawn and ends around lunch. It's terrible. Call me crazy, but I like to sleep in. Isn't that normal? Shouldn't construction men also enjoy a schedule which allows them to rise after the sun? It doesn't make a difference to the building's construction schedule if they work early or late, right?
Another issue which taunts me is the level of noise that is produced from the building in question. Despite it being at a distance from my building, I can hear it as if it were being built in my living room. Is that noise really necessary? I don't think so. See, I think that those destruction workers enjoy, or at least, don't mind the sound. They have those massive noise-cancelling headphones on their heads, so they can't hear anything. Maybe it even makes them feel good to smash things around; empowering to say the least. A fetish, maybe a perversion, which makes you the king of the world. Again, I may be wrong. Maybe that is an unfortunate byproduct of building. Maybe that noise is the unfortunate byproduct of living in one of the most overly-priced, most in-demand neighbourhoods in the world. But maybe not.
Coal Harbour, the envied neighbourhood, the neighborhood everyone in Vancouver dreams of living in, has been polluted by the figurative screams of a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Coal Harbour used to have nearly everything. The marina, the beach, the Seawall, Stanley Park, tourist attractions, cafés and everything in between. It was picturesque. Now it really has everything; dying whimpers of dogs and construction included. It is famous for it's peaceful atmosphere and it's friendly people. But it is expensive (with good reason). It's one of those communities where Utopia seems a little closer. It used to be popular with retirees and yuppies, however, since adding "head-banging-heaven" to it's repertoire, it may just become a little more popular with the early-rising crowd.